


This Way To Love

by galerian_ash



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Post-CA:CW, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 22:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6678553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galerian_ash/pseuds/galerian_ash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a few things Steve needs to say.</p><p>(Spoilers for Civil War, ahoy!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Way To Love

**Author's Note:**

> Basically wrote this in my head on the way home from the cinema. It's just a short little fix-it for the end credits scene, because damn, that was heartbreaking.

Steve is desperately trying to hold himself in check, which is why the words take a few seconds to filter through.

He's been trying to keep his mouth shut, to not protest, because this is what Bucky wants to do. And if anyone should be able to make their own decisions, it's him. This has to be different than all those years of being forced and — and _used_. Has to be, even though it's killing Steve.

He'll go silently. For Bucky's sake.

But then the words filter through: Bucky thinks this is the best thing to do, for everybody.

Nothing could be more wrong. He cannot let Bucky go into cryo-freeze believing that. Hell, even just one more minute, believing that, is too much.

He turns to T'Challa, but speaks loudly enough that the technicians and doctors hear as well. "Please, could you give us a moment alone?"

T'Challa's eyes soften. "I understand," he says, "take all the time you need." Steve doubts he really does understand; it'd be impossible to, really. There's obvious sympathy in the tone of his voice, though, and that's equally important.

"Thank you," Steve says. He watches them all leave before he turns to Bucky.

He's sitting there, just watching Steve. He offers another small smile when their eyes meet, but it's starting to get a bit wobbly around the edges. If there was any part of Steve's heart left to break, this would do the trick just fine.

"I need to tell you something," he forces out, averting his gaze because he knows he can't get through this looking at Bucky. Staring at the floor is better, and will hopefully help from letting the sting in his eyes and the lump in his throat get the better of him.

"It's not true. This isn't the best thing for everybody. I — I don't..." he trails off, not knowing how to put it into words. "Things haven't exactly been good, I realize that, I really do, but at the same time — being with you, Buck? It's the happiest I've been in seventy years. Fighting by your side again, as in sync with each other as we were during the war, it was like no time at all had passed. It's more than that, I mean, just having you next to me is the best feeling in the world."

He hears Bucky move, sliding off the examination table and moving closer. His feet enter Steve's line of vision a few heartbeats later. He stands there without saying a word, and finally Steve forces himself to raise his head.

Bucky is looking at him, eyes clear and wet with unshed tears. There's a lopsided smile on his face, infinitely tender and sad. "I missed you too," he says. "I had this picture of you... I would take it out, on bad days, and talk to you. I know it sounds dumb, but it helped."

Steve remembers the photo he'd seen tucked into the notebook at Bucky's apartment. The edges had been worn and the glossy finish a bit dull, like it was well-thumbed, something that'd been pulled out and touched a million times.

"Oh, Buck," he whispers, "I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner."

Bucky shakes his head. "Didn't want you to. I was scared something like, well, like _this_ would happen," he says, snorting.

Steve remembers their flight to Siberia. There is one more thing he needs to say, something he should've said earlier. "When we were in the plane, you said that you didn't think you were worth it to me. But you are. I want you to know that."

Now it's Bucky's turn to look away. "So," he finally says, voice shaky, "what now?"

"It's up to you. I won't stop you, if this is truly what you want to do."

"But it's not what you want."

"No, Steve says, slowly, "but that's irrelevant. I didn't tell you this to sway your feelings, Bucky. I just had to make sure you were doing this for the right reasons, and not while believing that the world would be better off without you."

Bucky is quiet for a long time. Finally he nods. "Alright. I'll give it some more thought, okay? Besides, it's nice here, real peaceful — and the company ain't half bad." At this he aims a teasing smirk at Steve, who's more than happy to return the grin.

"Jerk," he says, as he reaches out to pull Bucky in for a hug.


End file.
